"I Was Scared to Death of Being Alone" | Sean Hotchkiss x Dr. Robert Glover

Dr. Robert Glover

Dr. Robert Glover and Sean Hotchkiss discuss uncovering subconscious rage toward women, tracing it back to deep-seated fears of being alone and unhealed wounds. They explore a recovery pathway centered on building male community, confronting repressed emotions, and cultivating authentic self-reliance.

Sean Hotchkiss wrote a memoir about his own rage at women and called it "Hating Women." Robert got 54% of the way through it and noticed something: the recovery plan barely mentions women. This is part 2 of their conversation, recorded live on an Integration Nation Brotherhood call. Robert opens with a confession. When he was handing out the early chapters of No More Mr. Nice Guy, the same note kept coming back from men and women alike — "Robert, you seem to have rage and resentment towards women." He thought it was normal. Then he realised they were right, and that the book that made his name could have been titled Hating Women. From there they get into the part almost nobody works on: the anger you don't know you're carrying. Sean describes the years he couldn't name it, the drama-therapy room in Manhattan where he first watched another man rage at a pile of pillows, and the seven years he needed pills to sleep before a three-month detox gave him his nights back. Then Robert reads Sean's own recovery plan back to him, item by item. Connect with older men. Build a tribe. Get vulnerable. Do hard things. Get in touch with what's stored in your body. Face the fear of being alone. Heal the father wound. Spend time in nature. Stop looking outside yourself for it. And halfway through a book about how to stop hating women, 90% of the plan turns out to be about other men. Robert's own line, on why he stayed twenty-five years across two marriages he shouldn't have started: "I was scared to death of being alone." CHAPTERS 0:00 "That was on me" 1:27 The note that kept coming back on the No More Mr. Nice Guy chapters 3:18 Positive emotional tension, and the book he stalled on for five years 4:26 The truth underneath it — and why he's grateful anyway 5:12 Three quotes: why disconnected men need women, and fear them for it 7:13 Sean: the first insult on the playground is "you're a girl" 9:09 Victim Puke, and what we hold back to keep her happy 10:13 Unleashing the dragon 11:27 "I didn't even know that I was angry" 13:08 The men who believe their anger would kill somebody 16:22 Seven years of pills to sleep, and three months of insomnia getting off them 18:01 "They feel it in their nervous system" 19:12 The recovery plan, read back to him 19:41 Build a tribe of men. Get vulnerable. 20:20 "I feel like you're being a bitch to me." "That's not a feeling either." 21:16 Why he stayed twenty-five years 22:59 Moratoriums, clean slates — and the 90% 25:02 No More Mr. Nice Guy did nothing for ten or twelve years — Sean Hotchkiss — "Hating Women: A Man Comes Clean. The Truth About Using Women, Sex and Validation for Relief. A Memoir of Male Rage and Recovery." Also mentioned: John Lee, "The Flying Boy" · John Wineland — Dr. Robert Glover is the author of No More Mr. Nice Guy and Dating Essentials for Men. Free resources → https://drglover.com/resources/ Work with Robert → https://drglover.com/ #NoMoreMrNiceGuy #MensWork #DrRobertGlover